May 2013
callmekitto:
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care
clumsyoctopus:
my ad for beauty products
girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face
old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country
girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you
ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN...
lifeonthisside:
tommypraxis:
auntytimblr:
Question: aside from in clubs, where do you meet gay men? I can’t deal with clubs/clubbing culture, and I missed out on the whole “Hufflepuffs are good finders” thing. Are they hiding? Do they live inside the walls, coming out at night to feast on whatever food scraps are available?
Dating websites. All the cool queers use dating websites. That, or...
heroin(e) chic: lifeonthisside: tommypraxis:... →
justreplayitlove:
lifeonthisside:
tommypraxis:
auntytimblr:
Question: aside from in clubs, where do you meet gay men? I can’t deal with clubs/clubbing culture, and I missed out on the whole “Hufflepuffs are good finders” thing. Are they hiding? Do they live inside the walls, coming out at night to…
Wait, I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met from QC. I’m from Perth....
harrypottersmum:
I wish Professor McGonagall ended all her classes by snapping her fingers, saying “McGonagone” then strutting out.
Make bad art.
austinkleon:
Neil Gaiman has released a book of his great commencement address, Make Good Art.
When things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician — make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor — make good art. IRS on your trail — make good art. Cat exploded — make good art. Someone on the Internet...
1 tag
Stardust (2007): 1 star. But given that’s how many the script called for, that’s the perfect amount. LOVED IT.
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
telescopics:
supermariagalaxy replied to your photo:
MY FEEEEEEEEEET!
hi person whose feet I took a photo of
it uh
seemed less creepy at the time?
Medicare Wants Your Opinion on Covering Gender... →
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers...”
– Rumi (via creatingaquietmind)
i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy
because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless
and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that
countingmyfeathers:
senor-tadpoles:
countingmyfeathers:
straight white girls: your alter ego isn’t a gay man.
gay white boys: your alter ego isn’t a black woman.
Mine’s a 50yr old lounge singer, addicted to Manhattans and dick.
That’s acceptable.
claydols:
i really dont like this whole “you cant have an opinion on tumblr” attitude because really its “you cant have a hateful/offensive/ignorant opinion on tumblr because youll get called out and corrected” and thats a good and appropriate consequence
